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The Warmaster

Powerful image of Josh Barnett in rasslin briefs submitting Dean Lister with a soul stealing scarfhold (kesa gatame) at Metamoris 4.

Bad spot to be ngl.


First, if you don't know Josh punch yourself between the legs with a brick, because he is an absolute badass (I'll elaborate below, for those of you who have already mutilation your genitals with a rock). Second, this position really makes you pray for death. Against someone who has no idea how to tussle, it allows you the freedom to both pin and mollywhop the guy beneath you. A good scarfhold can render someones striking game nearly useless due to the inability to generate power from the bottom (something something gay joke). You can also submit someone (diaphragm gag) by placing pressure on the xiphoid process (lowest point of the breastbone) and pulling inward on the head like a forced crunch. Murder is actually possible if you can pull hard enough on a frail dork (rib puncturing lungs, cervical break, or possible spinal column separation). It sucks in the way getting hit by a car while dumping in a portashitter sucks.

Anyways Barnett was a Heavyweight UFC champ, if you didn't know. He's a catch wrestler by trade (an awfully badass rasslin style), currently signed to Bellator, and he's been pro wrestling out in Japan for a while. He also won an open weight Pancrase tournament and beat Dan "the serious stache" Severn back in the day.

Mountain deck and Goatwhore shirt? Oh yeah, it's sorcery time.


He also has produced some of the greatest badass quotes of all time, purported by bystanders. One of which during an interview with Fightland where he was talking about listening to Bolt Thrower before a fight he said "That helps me prepare to die." The second was an eyewitness account of an almost-clobbering of a goober who was trying to fight Josh at a bar. According to the story Josh turns around, stands up, looks down at the guy, and says: "You don't know someone who knows someone who could kick my ass." I'm on about all this because I'm going to a Barnett seminar before year's end and I'm fucking stoked lads.

This image is cool.

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