top of page

Rehab: Owie my peepee hurts!

The comments of pure asshurt about ground flopping rehab dude we're comic gold. I can't believe the number of bozos that think slipping resistance bands between your asscheeks and doing spreader stretches or oscillatory hip thursts for mTor potentiation actually works or matters. If you're rehabbing an injury that didn't require big boy surgery and it hasn't healed in a year: you're doing something wrong; even then I'm skeptical because I've seen my brother go from broken back with pins in his spine to walking with a cane in 10 months. If I'm being honest you're probably a giant pussy that's terrified of pain or some shit.

Is that your big fear? Pain? I would think the greatest fear would be to have never lived a life worth talking about, because you were too afraid to bleed or hurt.

Fuck knows how many times I've been hurt training. And I mean playing a sport or fighting, not doing 9 total lifts looking like a can of busted biscuits and claiming your an athlete. Strong? To who? The untrained grandma on the stationary bike? There are field/mat athletes out there with lifts that would make you stuff yourself in a locker outta shame. I digress, I'm not here to bash fats claiming powerlifting is "their sport" (yes I am, who am I kidding), I'm here to talk rehab, what it is and isn't.

Pasty bags of white dogshit with a novice 400lbs squat be like


Rehabbing is getting stronger in that area which is hurt. It's about healing and getting blood to fill that area and bring in lots of nutrients so it can build itself back up. The Starr Rehab Protocol is the light and the way when it comes to strains, pulls, owies, tears, and general discombobulation. Check out strongman and strength coach Matt Rynold's write up on Art of Manliness (hello Mr. Mckay, your deadlift is looking mighty stronk). Matt runs Barbell Logic and that's another solid site for dudes looking to get strong. Their YouTube videos are pretty informative.

Just type this in


Basically you're just doing loads of high rep shit with a compound lift that places some strain on the hurt area. Light and slow for a whole lot is the key here. The prescription/progression is simple: more weight. Steadily add weight linear progression style till your mooskles are back in tip top. No stupid one legged dual armed BOSU banded blood restricted pecker pushdowns for rehab work, get in there and take a little hair of the dog, feel me? Rehab is not mindlessly rolling around on some soft foam or endless "prehab" work. For fucks sake are you made of glass and paper? Spending some time rolling out is good, doing some mobility or muscle activation shit is cool, but spending more than 15 minutes max on that shit is plain old retarded. Another thing: I cannot understand how your general warm-up could possibly take over 10 to 15 minutes. With a warm-up you break a sweat, hit your hips/ankles/knees/shoulders/elbows (hell you can do these in 2 moves), maybe get some plyometrics to get the CNS rocking if you're not totally feeble, then start lifting. Roll out sore spots if you're hurting that bad, but at some point you gotta start training. Are you gonna lay there or are you gonna fucking train?

This image is unbelievably powerful

4 comments

Recent Posts

See All

4 Comments


Anton
Anton
Sep 10, 2019

Agreed, I'd like to quote the strength coach Zach Even Esh : "Train to be dangerous".

That's the right mindset imo.

Like

@SailorGøøn: "Never be average"

Yes, and be motivated by this very fear of being average. Came to live by these words from the moment I realised just how fucking generic the masses are (the NPC meme is retarded in some aspects, but it has a major point), to the point where I saw my mates, people I would die for, caving in to the public opinion and doing this or that just because it was average, normal, usual. The way they recoiled at the idea of going against the established opinion made me sick.

Never "go along with the flow". Don't be a piece of shit flowing down the river of shit. Think for yourself and rightly lash out at…

Like

SG
SG
Sep 10, 2019

Powerlifting is a legitimate strength sport. There are dudes out there benching 600, deadlifting 700 and squatting 900 at a single meet. Thats impressive as fuck. On the other hand it IS the refuge of the kind of terminally chubby guy who's always thought he was big and strong due to being fat, who thinks his 400lb deadlift is impressive when he weighs 300lbs.

A good lifting brother of mine once said "powerlifters are bodybuilders who just couldnt handle a cut". While not exactly true (very different lifting programs for BB vs PL) he did have a point. Though pro bodybuilding and those who mire them/follow the sport is quite homosexual. (and I am usually against gay panic/suspicion when it comes…

Like

Anton
Anton
Sep 10, 2019

Thanks, good article. I have some adductor pain from lower bar sqiatting since last year and no "expert" has been able to help me so far. Aside from telling me that nothing was broken.

So yeah probably a muscle rehab thing.

I'm going to give the Starr protocol some trial.

Like
bottom of page