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MEATHOOKS

Y'all want another grip post? Of course you do, your forearms can never be huge enough. You should strive to have a grip so strong thst you can twist the skulls off jerds when they approach you for an interview about the ham hocks you call your forearms. My old post is lost in the æther that is the deleted portions of the internet so I'm gonna talk about some shit you may have already heard from me, whilst adding some golden nuggets of power along the way.

• STRENGTH

So let's talk about grip strength before we go into forearm mass. You got 3 types of grips that matter: Crush (handshakes), Pinch (holding a burger), and Support (deadlifts, chins, etc.). Now I suppose you could train your grip via the ways listed above (it would be cool to break lots of goober palms, eat loads of borgars, and do lots of back work), but for simplicities sake let's talk exercises.

- Crush

Crush grip is easily trained. Grippers like Captains of Crush and shit like that are a fairly accessible way to train crush strength. Finger curls with a barbell are an even simpler substitute.

- Pinch

Pinch gripping really makes you feel like a little weenie bitch sometimes. I made a pinch block with a 2×4 and an I-bolt once and pinched lifted 75lbs (idk if that's good or not). Granted a 2 inch pinch isn't very effective since 4 inches is average. If you dont wanna make a pinch block you lazy slobben fuck, then just use two small weight plates (flat sides outwards) to hold for time.

-Support

If you are doing any kind of pulling you probably dont need to train this unless you use straps on every single set of every single lift (I have seen a man strap up for a bench press, I cannot make this shit up). But if you feel like its lagging behind, shit like hanging from a bar (good for you calisthenics types out there), heavy barbell holds, and farmers walks are all good ways to assist.

• MASS

I can't spell hypertrophy (ok well thanks spell check) so we are gonna call this portion Mass because it's easier to type and it has the word "ass" in it. Have you ever had a wicked forearm pump? My cenobite prison is just me forever with a badass forearm/low back/calf pump because that shit both hurts/feels cool as fuck.

Nerd shit alert: we know sarcoplasmic growth is directly correlated to the pump, since sarcoplasmic hypertrophy (sarco = sarcomere, component of muscle tissue + plasmic = plasma - a main component of blood volume) is basically the engorgement of cells to increase their size. Think about a water balloon. You fill up a balloon and it gets bigger right? Well when you drain the water, the baloon is bigger than before the water was added, right? Now imagine that in an organic sense where cells will repair themselves and increase overall muscle size to accommodate that blood volume. Ok nerd shit is over, on to the lifts and moves we need to do: Flexion/Extension, Radial/Ulnar Deviation, and finally Supination/Pronation. Grug fear big word, Grug no like. Thog give Grug big thinktell now.

- Flexion/Extension

Super simple, just your regular old wrist curl and reverse wrist curl. Toss in your wrist roller on this too. I will say train more extension than flexion though since most of your back work will keep your forearms in flexion. So I've talked about hand openers before: take a rubber band, put it around your fingers, open your hand up, repeat hundreds of times, have a colossal pump.

- Radial/Ulnar Deviation

This movement is a little more difficult to train. Have you seen "hammer wrist curls"? That will work but not as good as what I'm about to tell you. Get a light bar 10-20 lbs (5-10kg), hold it in one hand by your side in the middle, try to keep your upper arm stationary as you tilt your wrist to touch the ends of the bar to the ground. Trust me you'll feel this. And if you dont have a light bar, high reps with a broom stick works well too.

- Supination/Pronation

Looking at your palm, turning your hand over, then turning back to your palm. That's supination and pronation. You can do these with dumbells by bracing your arm on a bench and turning your hand over. A sledgehammer works pretty well too. I've made a useful tool (I think they call it a thor's hammer) by getting some cheap adjustable dumbbells, adding weight to one side and grabbing the side were the other weights should go, and twisting it around. That shit worked pretty well.

•THE ROUTINE

I know your thinking "oh god oh fuck how am I going to do 7 different grip exercises a week?" Well I got you covered. 3 moves with one final burnout.

Watching this movie isn't mandatory while doing this workout

but it is optimal.



•Rollup Wrist Curl: 2×15-20

With the bar behind your back, let it roll down to your fingertips, then reverse the motion till you have the bar in a tight fist, do a wrist curl. There you go crush and flexion

•Pinch Grip Zottman Curl: 2×8-10

Pinch a plate or two in your hands, burger style. Curl them up like a regular bicep curl, but before you lower them twist your wrist and lower them like a reverse curl. You have pinch and supination/pronation now.

•Forced Deviation Hold: 2×30 sec

Use a barbell, dumbbell, kettlebell, I dont care. With the weight at your side, try to point your thumb to the sky by only moving at the wrist, hold for fifteen seconds then point your thumb to the ground moving only your wrist, hold for fifteen seconds. Deviation and support.

•Band Extension: Reps till Deth

Goddamn I love these. You can do them daily or just burn the fuck outta yourself for one set at the end of this circuit. Finally you have extension.

Well there you have it, a grip and forearm article. Now have some Lee "calves for forearms" Priest.


National Australian Treasure

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